Q&A: How can I stop labeling?
Posted by: Alan in irritable bowel syndrome treatment, tags: labeling, StopQuestion by Claire: How can I stop labeling?
I’ve been against labels and stereotypes ever since I learned that they can be harmful. I’ve spoken out publicly against them, in fact, in school newspapers and to friends during regular conversations, taking on the well-known “cans of soup” mentality.
However, this has not stopped me from labeling like crazy. I spoke out against the judgments I have made about myself and others as long as I can remember.
At first, the standard clique labels dominated my life – I did what I could to avoid the “populars,” who I picked out of the crowd through looks and manner of speech without a second thought, while striving to become part of the “doom/gloom cookie” crowd. One or two people recognized and pointed out my hypocrisy, and I slowly began to abandon such labels.
Meanwhile, for some time now, I keep thinking there must be something wrong with me, due to dispositional problems and recognizing my own wrongdoings like never before. Every time something went wrong, I went on Google and Wikipedia and other websites and conducted in-depth research about possible problems that might have plagued me. I researched mental disorders based on every single symptom I had. WebMD became a frequently visited site of mine. When I began to get recurring upset stomachs and the doctors told me nothing was wrong after conducting tests, I refused to believe them and continued research on that subject, coming to the conclusion that I had irritable bowel syndrome. After all, I had to have SOMETHING.
Lately, I’ve been researching religions and political parties to no avail. I feel a need to call myself something; I need to find a religion and a political party (or even a mental disorder, because I still read about the disorders and take quizzes about them) that fits me perfectly, so I’ll have one perfect name to call myself – Christian or Buddhist, Democrat or Libertarian, (bipolar or neurotic), etc. I only very recently realized that these are just further subconscious methods of labeling myself. I finally figured out why I always feel a twinge of happiness (or maybe satisfaction/pride might be better terminology) when someone tells me I might have X disorder, or that my self-diagnosis regarding the IBS might have been correct (although the IBS, or whatever it was, itself is irrelevant).
I consult people online regularly (I’m too self-conscious and paranoid to speak to people in “real life” about my problems), and people give me good advice, yet I won’t be satisfied with it because there won’t be a label. Someone could give me the best advice in the world, and yet it wouldn’t make me as happy as someone simply telling me I have x disorder, or y dispositional trait, a trait that makes me who I am, or that it’s admirable or horrible that I’m a member of z political party. I psychoanalyze those around me and give them advice, yet I have always failed to follow such advice myself.
How can I stop labeling? I just can’t seem to stop.
Best answer:
Answer by pip
You are a human, your brain is pre-wired to label things as a means of categorization for understanding. Once you have learned a label (that there is a difference) you can’t unlearn that. But what you can do is understand that a difference does not mean better or worse. Difference and diversity is a good thing, not a bad. After all, could you honestly unlearn a label such as male and female? The differences are still there (grossly obvious label for simplicity sake only.. this works on all levels). It makes much more sense to accept that people are different, and that being so doesn’t make them less.
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